Friday, 26 August 2011

Freak Fridays: horror/thriller/whatever

I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart to heart! Could you please not talk when I'm talking? Well I'M waiting for everyone to be quiet! Would you like to spend your break-time with me?! I didn't think so! So it's time to get down to some serious homework! Another academic year is about to commence so this week we're studying some college-y stuff. Now pay attention!

Week #5: Cutting Class, Student Bodies, Cherry Falls, The Invisible Maniac and A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010).

oh no no no, don't mind wiping that gross worm spit on me just because i'm from the city! Cutting Class features Brad Pitt as the usual beef jerky and this girl who is just plain bor-ing. urgggh i wannnnt that rinnng... WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT ALREADY??/ I don't get it! Nice title though, hmm? Actually, in this film there is little time spent out of school! which is a good thing... My favourite death of the week was by xerox machine, afterall! Now class, if you fast forward to 35:26, you will see THE CRAZIEST LOOK EVERR from that donut-headed, Dwight. haha! steamy... NOT! this guy spends all his day hanging out in dustbins, wearing bowling shoes and then wonders why everyone thinks he's a nut job. It wasn't scary but it was something. a bit of gozz I guess, and did you stay till the credits? i'm still trying to work out who 'crusty old man' was?!

Student Bodies surrrre knows how to rile me up, that's for sure, as it introduces the world's most annoying killer ever. urrrrrrrk! stop breathing like that already! no wonder i can't concentrate with old breathalyser test over here flobbering out. LOLZ and i can't believe it has THAT clich├ęd ending! girrrrrrrrrl. However, it was funny, I guess! Get THIS... the killer.... wears washing up gloves AND... his weapons vary from egg plant to paperclip! My favourite quote of the week was also from this film: 'Physical beauty can be a handicap too!' Blurgh! i ain't touching no gunk!

Next up is Cherry Falls. One thing I've picked up on is why don't these schools have uniforms??? Stylists should be taking example from Seconds Apart, The Woods, even Pretty Persuasion!! soon you'll be letting the students get their toes nibbled! ick! And can I add that r.i.p murphy is a fricasseeing ferr-eaaak in this film???! AND IT IS CRAY.Z WICKED! This film should be called 'The Pringles Effect'!!! Obvz it IS the best of the week! DJ Qualls even shows up, and he should be in everything! (however considering him to be a geeky dreamboat might be a teeny bit too optimistic this time round!?)

The Invisible Maniac made me think... if Professor David Lurie could be invisible, this is also what he'd be doing! Planning lesson plans, bow ties, lab rabs... this film is scientifically legit! When that bunny turned invisible my jaw. actually. dropped. Scary? nur hurr. Educational? perhaps! Imagine if this guy was your dad!? Haha how embarrassing! One thing though, Mister Dormwinkle turns invisible and all of a sudden he's sugar ray robinson?! drop-kick that see-through loon already!! what are you waiting for???? Another gem from this week that was released in 1990! and what a reaaaal fine year that was!

A Nightmare on Elm Street? Blah, I don't know, all the girls are so annoying, and so are the boys! and it's just not the same without the old Frederick C. Krueger, amen to that. I might have jumped twice but I can't be bov'd to watch it again. Although! falling asleep in class gives me the jeebers now, BUT arrrr. I don't know. You know what I mean!?

Class Dismissed!