Friday, 24 June 2011

Freaky Fridays: Take Two/Of Your Freaky Five!

Welcome back! Five horrors a week is good for you, no? so I suppose it IS Friday once again so let's venture into some spookified scenes...

Week #2: The Gestapo's Last Orgy, Day of the Woman, My Little Eye, The Lovely Bones and Brain Dead. (And Un Chien Andalou)

The Gestapo's Last Orgy was sort of like Salo, but with Nazis. But with a soft spot... I know! Lise is just as torturous as she plans her escape! She chews up that doctor then spits him out like beef jerky. She is so deadly serious like a femme fetale who has no choice but to be a meaaan meaaan mother! I liked it.

Day of the woman was the original of I spit on your grave (member from last week?). They are two completely different films apart from the protagonists are both vengeful, manipulative and beautiful kick-asssss women! woo hoo! you go girls! Day of the woman was less believable though... Miss Hills is so sweet to her victims, the men are so so so so so dumb, they don't even have to be tricked into being killed! And in this original version, Jennifer gets to enjoy the luxury of her own home whilst she makes some eeeeevil plans. Although this version was much faster than I spit on your grave, I thought the remake was scarier.

My Little Eye was really scary although I had no idea what was going on half the time, especially at the end of the film! This is exactly how all those series of Big Brother should have ended... with the contestants finding out that actually no one has been watching them (no one cares - durrr!) and then being picked off one by one for random reasons. And just like Big Brother, most of the characters are so annoying that you're glad when they finally get shut up!!! Especially blondie, what's her name again? I forget. Gurrrd riddance.

Let's discuss The Lovely Bones and Brain Dead, shaaaall we? The Lovely bones lacked everything that made Brain Dead awwwwesome, despite both being directed by Peter Jackson. Lovely Bones had that girl narrating with that dreary, limp voice throughout the whole film which just drove me insane. The females in this film, after watching women with so much power e.g. in I spit on your grave, just made it soooo not intense at all. And why did that girl who could see the dead not try and stop George from pushing the stupid safe into the ground? It was more fantasy than horror because of all that girliness. Now, the serial killer WAS scary. And the dad had eyes to fear! But it would have been so much better if Lynne Ramsay would have directed it, she's a woman who isn't a big sissy like Jackson is.

Brain Dead was so gorey and bloody and cool. One day I hope I can take care of my old mam with the same amount of dedication and love. Who cares if Brain Dead is old? That nasty old rat/monkey from skull island gave me nightmares and hiding behind Bryon seems to be becoming 'the scare test.' And I did quite afew times! Just wondering, have you seen Film Geek yet? Scotty Pelk's favourite Peter Jackson film is Brain Dead (or Dead Alive in the States!)!!! I also like the Spanish Title: Your mother ate my dog! LOLza!

Now these blogs are getting so long, they are just silly ramblings so my plans for 5 a day might/might not go ahead. It might give me good healthy facial features from all this screaming! A A A A A ! Un Chien Andalou is not typically seen as a horror but I thought I'd mention it as the opening is one of the scariest things i've ever seen, EVER! 16 minutes of this film in black and white is waaaay more exciting, funny, scary, enduring and impressive than anything within the whole 2 hours 15 minutes of The Lovely Bones (yes, I sat through ALL of it, and it should have been shorter). Brain Dead was the best of the week!

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